a new day

a new day, a new year. after a very wonderful devotional at lucia's house last night, i went on home with the intention of cleaning my room - i thought it would be quite nice to wake up to an organized room on the first day of the new year. got home, took care of my business, changed into clothes more comfortable, played some guitar, surfed the web and i came to realize that a clean room on new year's day is so incredibly cliché - and if you know me, you'll know that i've spent my life fighting clichéness and normality. so, i got over that thought quite quickly, made myself a sandwich and sat down to watch a rerun of The Office, which I try do ritually as it helps me to wind down at the end of the day.

i entered my toasty room (i had forgotten to turn off my heater – fortunately) and I crawled into my blankets (i was thinking at this point i might make some analogy about the blankets being like toasty bread…but then i didn’t like what that would eventually make me, so we’ll stop there). i lay there awake, just sort of letting myself get lost in the infinitude of things when the fireworks started, to be soon joined by the dulcet tones of a baker’s dozen drunks – who in their immediate intelligence thought it might be quite exhilarating to smash glass bottles on the street outside my window and against some nearby walls – an act we all know is a staple when it comes to welcoming the new year.

i contemplated going out there and making them stop (take a moment to laugh), but then decided to play some music instead. and so there i lay, enya soothing me to sleep and fireworks bursting outside my window, thoughts drifting in and out of my conscious mind – one stuck: i am in the middle east.

this quickly devolved into one of roya’s favorite games:

i am in the middle east…beast…weast…tweest…i am in the beetle’s beast…least…meats…keats…i like keats…neats…pete’s…feast…feet…feets

my eye’s closed.

i chose to wear black today – yes, i know, what colors to welcome in a new year! – i’ve decided to tell whoever asks that i’m in mourning for 2007…but in reality, i just need to do some laundry.

goal for new year: keep your Eye open.

a celebration

i just realized that my last post was my 100th post. big news, big news. so i thought i would celebrate that with posting my latest intellectual conversation with roya. observe the logic...it's just her:

me: had a nice lunch?

Roya: yes, you?

me: yeeeesh

Roya: good i'm glas d

me: you're glass

Roya: glad

glad

glad tidings

glad paper

glad garbage bags

glad

which now in my head sounds like

plaid

as in plaid skirt

paid shirt

plaid hat

plaid scarf

plaid glad bad mad

they all rhyme

whoo hoo

me: (smile)

for some reason, whenever i think of roya, i think of this painting by van gogh (starry night):

for H.E, K.E

“Poetry is the spontaneous overflow of powerful feelings: it takes its origin from emotion recollected in tranquility” - Wordsworth

the dust in the street
scattered before Him,
but His feet remained unsullied.
doors shut and windows were drawn
as His presence became known.
then, from the darkness of their dwellings,
from behind the veils of many
came the voices of the distressed.
"what manner of man are you?" one said
"why do you trouble us?" cried another.
the shadow of dusk
crept about the clay built homes,
but His Eye pierced the dimness
to their hearts.
"I am One! I am Singleness!" He announced
and He knew they quivered,
for this Day had been foretold
but none had heeded its call.
"Why do you lie in the dry earth?
Do you not see the eternal river break at your feet?
Even now it encircles your soul.
Will you drink from its living waters?"
but none stirred.
"Who among you desires the Sea?" He cried
"You who are stranded on the sands of Time!"
and then from out a doorway stepped two children.
confident, with brilliant eyes, they came into the Light.
"Please", they said, "we will drink".

two more memories

i was sick at home yesterday. an incessant and evil sore throat, coupled with a headache that pounded my head like a jack-hammer, was enough to keep me bed-ridden. i think it is something that is circulating throughout the BWC. kent was sick, khat just got sick and is at home (luckily her hami is there to take care of her), virginia (anjali) wasn't feeling well a couple of days ago. and then during last evening lucia insisted up on coming over :). she made me lentil soup with onion and garlic, and we curled up under a blanket to watch S1mOne - a brilliant film starring al pacino - till around 10 when she left, and i went back to my toasty room. i laid awake for a bit, and then slowly drifted off to sleep.

it was at that moment when i remembered another memory from my trip to mexico when i was 11. we were in some city, it may have been mexico city, walking through a mercado. the kind that is filled and overflowing with people, spices, vegetables, cowboy hats, guitars, muñecas and puppets.

we all walked in and out of the rows, of course stopping periodically to try on hats, or pick up the puppets to walk them around. at one point, i became so engrossed with something in particular (i think it was a guitar), that i became completely oblivious to everyone around me. when i was finally finished, i set whatever i was looking at back on its rack and turned to ask my mom if she thought we could buy it. when i turned and looked up, expecting to see my family, i realized that i was surrounded by complete strangers (a fact particularly highlighted by the hair color of my fellow guitar veiwers - yes, i was the only blonde)

completely alone and anxious, i panicked and began to run through each row - past peppers and chess boards, dresses and guayaberas, until i came to an old man selling fruit. unable to think of what i could do next, i called upon my reservoir of spanish in the hope that i could communicate my need:

"donde estan..."

"where are they..." was all i was able to get out. the man looked down at my for one second, looked to the right and slowly lifted one wrinkly arm pointing down his aisle. i had no choice but to trust the man and i quickly sprinted down to where he had directed me. sure enough, after i had run no more than 20 paces, blonde hair exploded out of nowhere and i saw my family. not wanting to alarm them, i slowed down, and quietly stepped in line and we resumed our day in the market.


final note...i feel a bit like a curmudgeon today.

smelling your way through memories

it's truly amazing when your senses touch of thoughts, emotions or memories that haven't laid hold upon your mind in years. i was walking through my building, and something quite noisome stole past all my sensory guards and caught me full in the face. i was immediately transported back to when i was about 11 visiting, with my family, my tio kiki in a small village in mexico - the kind with dirt roads and where street lamps were few and far between.

the night that we arrived, my tio decided to cook a chicken and he designated brian and myself as the ones to go out into his yard to catch our dinner. brian, of course, being the braver of the two, went full steam at the task. i hung back, trepid and apprehensive, playing more a game of tag than following through with the true intention - catch to eat. the scent that enveloped me 5 minutes ago was a smell i guess i've associated with a freshly killed chicken being unfeathered in a big sink of running, scalding water.

but it wasn't something that came to me and made me sick or ill...it was surprisingly a beautiful, wonderful smell, perhaps because of what it's associated with. even though my interactions with my tio kiki where infinitesimally infinitesimal when compared to the annals of history, i loved that man that has now since passed on...i remember his smile, his laugh and the way he danced with us on his cement living room floor that evening after a belly full of chicken.

it's moments like this that makes me realize that reality is not a linear thing, but one that manifests itself like a cycle of days...and even after we go, our memories, if passed on, become the realities of others. we are forever going forward and back, ascending and descending, through the arcs of our minds.

a life eternal

Ode to Karim

Who among us has desired the Sea?
Do we simply stand upon Its Shore,
Where the soft sands of time
Warm the feet?

Are we not all souls seeking escape?
Even the sand traps us.
No solace is there
Save in the Ocean of Mercy.

Have we not yet passed through Seven Valleys?
To transcend time and space?
When may the soul
Secure its peace?

Do the tears of love sear our Eyes?
Will the flames’ light subside?
Quench it, O Son of Love,
In the Sea of Grace.

Will the pain of loss ever end?
It scrapes and stabs at my heart.
Heal it, O Lord, with forgiveness
That I may be, eternal.

***********************************

this past friday, a beautiful evening, was the setting for the wedding of rafaan and lauren - two good friends of mine here. it was a beautiful ceremony with an interesting twist - the roasting (of mainly rafaan) began at the beginning rather than closer to the end. it was truly hilarious and quite fitting for who rafaan is, and the type of humor that he and lauren have. so...they have begun their life together, and as joe said "laying the first bricks of that fortress for wellbeing". (and again all photos, and videos, were taken by sholeh: http://sholeh.calmstorm.net.)

here's lauren and rafaan processionaling in (it can be a word if i want it to be). the wedding took place in the dan panorama in a room that sort of juts out on the top of the mountain overlooking the entire city.

(the reception table: joe, lucia, kent, sholeh, me and khat (not shown - roya and ray))

(wedding ladies: sholeh, roya, lucia and khat)

kent and i also performed a couple of songs during the reception. lucia was very helpful in holding up the words and the tambourine at times. also during the actual ceremony, the three of us did sing a song...i don't have it on video yet...but you should enjoy these. the intro, said by kent, was not recorded. it went something like this: so when lauren and rafaan asked us to sing some songs, we thought it would be a great idea to sing the three greatest loves songs in history...that we could learn in three days.

Part I
Part II

********************************

khat's brother hami is also visiting. a group of us went out to dinner last night, and he made an interesting comment. to be honest i never really thought about this, but have you ever wondered or marveled at the fact that your family is connected to you for eternity? i think this is of course dependent up on the bonds and ties that you create in this world, and that will determine the strength of your relationship in all the other worlds of God. i feel confident that mine with be with me forever...

light blasted window panes

slowly but surely i've come to the realization that...i miss school. as much as one might feel constrained by it at times, when you leave it, you realize how incredibly freeing it was to be in a place where you just learn - and you are given the opportunity to read and to write whenever you want. i was sifting through the ny times today and i came across this article: (link)

i then went to the free online video lectures of MIT to partly see 1) if they were actually free 2) if they were interesting and 3) to slake my thirst for systematically constructed processes of imparted knowledge. i got to the video lectures, ecstatic, but then realized you needed RealPlayer to run the videos - a program i do not have on my work computer.

not to be discourage, i think went on a rapid search to find similar sources of knowledge that did not require this application, and came across this: (cmu)

carnegie mellon is my new best friend.

i've also started reading a new book: "Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close" by Jonathan Foer. it is witty and sharp and full of emotion - and i'm only on page 13.

bookishness

I am now the proud owner of three new books - two of them were acquired for a small sum, the other was free. Well, they aren't new per se...they've been used...and that is precisely what makes them so special.




"The History of Love" by Nicole Krauss
"Lady Chatterley's Lover" by D. H. Lawrence
"Light in August" by William Faulkner

Risky Business

My flat mate Kent's parents are in town - they are really wonderful people, I love them already. This past Wednesday they cooked dinner for us, and Kent invited a bunch of people over for a casual evening of yummy American food (topped with apple pie and cheese) and Risk - everybody's favorite game. All photos were taken by our good friend Sholeh: http://sholeh.calmstorm.net.

(Here's Jared pulling his war face. We had two risk games going, both Jared and Lucia were doing quite well in their respective arenas)


(I think at this point I wasn't doing that great, so I thought I might as well get some "happy" photos in before I sunk into depression - I did eventually make a comeback)

(Roya and Khat combine forces to form 1.5 real Persians....Let's just say THIS empire began to fizzle out after a while. In their defense, there was some discussion of inequitable rules and they are both novices at risk as well - they performed admirably)


(Kent, grinning evilly, most likely at this point just crushed someone)

(After the game died down, Kent began to play - I picked up the drum to complete the ensemble)

a reconnect

for the past three or so mornings, i have woken up with the urge to read. i walked out into my living room three days ago, looked at my bookshelf and saw one that i hadn't picked up in quite some time: Door of Hope.

i'm taking my time going through it, so i've only made it through the first chapter dealing with the history of Akka, which has been completely fascinating. i think i'm going to try to make it a goal to:

1) read the whole book :P
2) try to memorize pieces of the book, with the intent of beefing up my storing telling reservoir

gravity

i saw the picture of Jameh this morning again...the one where he is positioned next to Taleh...and i was suddenly hit with the realization of the passage of time - i felt momentarily exhilirated and simultaneously completely gutted. periodically, i think, if you are a conscientious person, certain things keep coming back to you as you continually look towards development - these things often concern distinction, maturity, development, control and detachment as they relate to our spiritual/rational states. it's easy to loose track of these things, but again, if you have it ingrained in you to be in a constant state of revision, or to at least try for that, then the realities of things often come back and, with two pads fully charged and pressed to your chest, shock you back into place. i guess the trick is to get to a place where your able to weather things, and so maybe this is just a part of being a young adult, and the wisdom and maturity of time and age will bring about that balance. as i sat here and saw that picture, time came by and smacked me full in the face.

I wish I had flowers on my desk...

I have a vase that has been sitting on my desk since my first day of work here, I need to finally put flowers in it.

I've reorganized my desk only once in about 9 months, it's time for a little change.

I'm going to be moving into a new room soon, and I plan on painting it. I would be most grateful for color suggestions.

I went to sleep last night with what I thought were some great ideas for a working poem...but I've forgotten them. They'll resurface at some point.

For those of you wanting to simultaneously garner more knowledge and also wishing to contribute, in some small way, to the feeding of others worldwide, visit this site: http://www.freerice.com/